The Coffee Shop
by HeadlessDirkStrider
Summary: Sollux hates his job and it sucks that the only person who comes in every so often is the only interesting thing that happens in the shop or even in the city. But he's a douchebag and Sollux isn't even sure why he takes such an interest in him. EriSol Human!Stuck Coffeeshop AU
1. I'm Not Gay

Who is he? Why would he come here? He obviously has a sense of taste, and a sense of style…or at least he likes to think he has one, so what's he doing in this run down coffee shop?

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you hate your job. No that's no the right word. You LOATHE your job. There, that's more appropriate. But you need it to live right now. You used to be a free lance coder for some questionable people until your "employers" got caught and you promptly got your computer taken away for investigation. It wasn't as if you didn't have any money saved up for emergencies in such a high risk job though right? Right? No. You pretty much wasted every paycheck on rent, ramen, and new software or hardware. So your 5,000$ computer is with the government and you're stuck here. At a coffee shop.

You're not even sure if the place has a name. It's just got the old lettering of the shop before it. Maybe the new owners were too lazy or too poor to put up new lettering? But surely they could afford it now. But for some reason people just called it "The Coffee Shop" and everyone seemed to move on without thinking twice about it. It'd been here as long as you'd had your apartment, or roughly 5 years. It was kind of popular for being so shitty and you weren't really sure why people even visited. The chairs were all pretty much broken and the ones that weren't were on the verge of breaking. Plus everything was overpriced and there _was_ a Starbucks right down the road. But none the less the place had managed to stay in business for quite a while.

Maybe it's the atmosphere. There were beanbags in one corner, A few booths on one edge, and a few scattered chairs throughout. Along with the main counter of course. That added with the fact that it was in the nook between two buildings, barely noticeable, made it pretty much the perfect atmosphere to get away from the city life you guessed. But no matter how quaint and cute the place was you still hated it. You hated working there, you hated being there, and you hated being away from your computer. You were like a bitter ex boyfriend at this point. And it didn't help that literally every time you serve someone they question what you say at least twice because of your god damn lisp. But hey, money is money.

You usually go through the day without really noticing anyone. It's usually the same people anyway. Not to say you're not friendly towards the people who come it's just that you aren't really here to make friends. That is, until he showed up. You're not really sure why someone that looked as good as him would come into a place like this, but he did and he was talking to you right now. And you should probably pay more attention to what he's saying. Snapping your attention back to him you look at his lips as they move. They're thin, but they accent his strong jaw line nicely. Your eyes travel upward and you're finding yourself looking at a bridged nose and thick glasses slightly fogging up a pair of purple (?) eyes. He must have contacts in you assume.

"Did you catch that?" He questions looking at you his eyebrows raised.

Fuck no you didn't. You were too busy looking at him like he was fucking Justin Timberlake and you were a 12 year old girl who just hit puberty. You mentally slap yourself. He's giving you his _order_ not his _number_ and you need to get your shit together.

"Uh no thorry could you repeat that?" you express slightly happy that you're the one asking him to repeat things. Instead of it being the other way around.

He looks at you slightly annoyed and rolls his eyes like the pretentious douche he looks like and repeats his order practically dripping with his overly bloated ego, "I'll have a vanilla bean frap, heavy on the whip, soy milk, extra ice, in a…large."

You ring him up staring at the buttons trying to look bored hoping he'll assume that you were spacing out and you weren't looking at him talk, "Right that'll be thixth (six) dollarth and 42 thents (cents)."

He hands over the cash his fingers brushing yours, or the part that isn't covered with rings you should say. The dude has on at least two to each finger except his left hand ring finger. Which means he's single…or at least not engaged? You're not sure why you're even thinking about it. You're not even gay. You've got a girlfriend…well she's online but it's not like that makes much of a difference. You've been with her almost three months now and while it's not exactly serious you think she's really cool. You haven't been in contact with her since you got your computer taken away though. So you're not really sure how things stand between you two. Turning your attention back to the stranger in front of you, you put the money in the register and grab a large cup.

"What'll be the name?" You question, hoping he'd give you his first and last name that way you could at least put a name to a face. Not like you care though.

"Just put Eridan" he says staring at the cup in your hands, "E-R-I-Dan," he adds obviously trying to make sure you don't spell it wrong. Not like it matters though.

"Right well E-R-I-Dan your coffee thould be done in a few. Have a nithe day," you add. You are in customer service after all.

Rolling his eyes he goes and sits down. No one is coming up so you take a few minutes to look around the shop while sneaking in glances at the new dude. Something about him intrigues you and you're not sure what it is. It's not like he's a super model, in fact his clothing choices are somewhat questionable. He's got on black skinny jeans and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up. A purple pinstripe vest over it and a scarf to match. It's not that he didn't look good, just out of place. Either he's going somewhere really important after this or he's really really gay. Or… metrosexual you guess. Either way your eyes travel to his hair that he's got defying gravity itself and accented with a bleached section in the front. It goes well with the auburn color of his hair you suppose. His complexion is light and sprinkled with freckles you notice and his eyes…his eyes are staring at you. You look down and start to fiddle with your piece of shit phone feeling the blood rush to your face.

Fuck he caught you staring . You didn't really register his facial expression considering you were observing everything else on him but his fucking face. You toy more with your phone going back and forth through the 20 something contacts you have in there. None of which happen to be Aradia considering she doesn't have a phone. Says she leaves all her electronics at home as it takes away from the natural beauty of things. Kanaya mixes coffee and grinds ice behind you. She sets a coffee near you and you silently pray that it's not Eridans, because that means that he has to come up and grab it. That means he has the chance to say something to you and ask you why the fuck you were staring at him. You were acting fucking weird.

Compiling yourself, you look at the cup and notice it says 'Terezi' not Eridan thank god.

"Terezi," you call out looking into the crowd. A small girl with red hair comes up. She's sporting what looks like red tinted glasses, a walking cane, and a service dog. Coming up she grabs her coffee and smiles wide at you.

"Thank you," she says sporting an almost scary grin.

"No problem. Have a nithe (nice) day," you mumble at her. She leaves swishing her hips, and you can't help but follow her with your eyes till she's around the corner. What is wrong with you today?

You're usually so composed…or bored. You never really check out other people and you're usually on your phone when you're not helping others. But today since that new kid came in you can't help but be observant.

Frowning you turn your attention back to your phone and type out a message to your old high school friend Karkat.

hey lo2er

**WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT IM KIND OF BUSY**

doiing what

**WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT IM DOING THE POINT IS IM DOING SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE ENTERTAINING YOUR ANTISOCIAL ASS**

lame. really lame KK

**WHATS LAME IS YOUR SOCIAL LIFE**

2ay2 the dude who hardly left the house tiill hii2 juniior year of hiigh2chool

**SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE**

yeah and ii do? face iit we're both pathetiic when iit come2 two 2ociial iinteractiion

**YEAH OKAY WHATEVER WHAT DO YOU WANT**

nothiing iim at work. cant ii bug you when iim at work?

**WELL YES BUT YOU DONT BUG ME AT WORK WHICH MEANS SOMETHINGS UP OR YOU WANT SOMETHING. SO WHICH IS IT**

ii dunno ii mean there2 thii2 new douche at the 2hop but that2 about iit as far a2 "2omethiing2 up"

**WHAT DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH OR SOMETHING I DON"T REALLY GIVE A SHIT EITHER WAY ITS JUST FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS**

what no ii don't liike dude2…ugh w/e ii'll talk two you after work

**BYE ASSHOLE**

Pushing the phone back in your pocket you sigh as another coffee is placed by you. This one is cold and the black lettering reads "E-R-I-Dan" You sigh inwardly before looking up to find him playing on his phone.

"Eridan," you push out. Though it sounds more of a question and he looks up at you with puzzled eyes.

"Yeah?" he questions looking at you.

You wiggle the coffee a bit not trusting your voice to do anymore talking around him. He nods understanding flooding through him and stands up. Walking over he grabs the coffee and walks out without as much as a 'thank you.' What a fucking dick.

That was the first time Eridan had come into your coffee shop. The second time had been a few months later. You were still being investigated and you still hated your shitty job. But sure enough he came anyway. You thought maybe he was in town and liked this place better than starbucks or didn't even know there was a starbucks which is why he came here. Then once he figured it out that the better cheaper coffee was at the other place he'd go by there when he was in town. But now a few months later he was back again. It had been another boring day only now it was winter and the cold would rush in every time someone stepped in. Giving you adequate time to put your phone away and take their order.

You were texting when he walked in and you felt the cold rush in. Your head whipped up to find Eridan wiping his very expensive looking boots on the cheap excuse for a welcome mat. He had on a button up coat that went to his middle thigh. Black accented with purple. His hair wasn't as neatly done this time from the snow getting it wet and it drying at odd angle, but he overall still looked really good. Not that you noticed or cared. In fact you didn't care. The only reason why you took interest in him was because he looked so out of place next to everyone else, or so you justified.

Walking up to you he looked slightly frazzled and very tired. Leaning on the counter he used his elbows to support himself before he drawled out his order.

"Mocha, double pump espresso, half the chocolate, extra hot, soy milk. Large." he breathed out closing his eyes. "And can I have one of those chocolate chip cookies warmed up?" he questioned opening his eyes and looking up at you expectantly.

"Uh..yeah…thure" you express almost getting lost in his eyes.

You've never seen that fucking shade of purple in someone's eyes, and you're only half convinced they're contacts this time. Sure you have heterochromia but yours were deep brown and light blue. Two fucking natural shades. Not purple. He breaks into a smile at you and leans up and looks more intently at your eyes. He glances down at your name tag and back up to your eyes. You find yourself either getting uncomfortable or getting closer, and you're not sure whether it's good or bad.

"Right well Sollux aren't you going to tell me how-ow much my order is?" He questions snapping you back to reality.

You're not sure what it is about him but every time he's around you find yourself observing him. You don't like him you just think he's…interesting, you guess. At the stutter you find him turning a darker red then what was already by the cold. He's got a speech thing too you guess. A stutter? You give up. You don't care.

"Right well that'll be…" you plug it into the register and look back up at him, "ten dollarth and fifty thenth (cents)"

He twists his face at the price, "fucking expenciv-ive as shit here," he mutters as he hands over the cash.

Rolling your eyes you grab a large and the sharpie next to the cups. "Name?" you question keeping your eyes down.

"Ampora" He drawls out.

Either he expects you to get it right or he doesn't care because he goes and sits down at a table and starts fiddling with his phone again. Looking down at the cup you twist your face at it. You write his name on it, and in a moment of carelessness you add your number too. Handing it off your coworker nudges your shoulder. You look over and she winks at you. You roll your eyes and start fiddling on your phone again. Kanaya always pegged you for gay and never missed a chance to tell you so, no matter how many girlfriends you got, she always assumed you were gay. You let her have her fun but at the end of the day you were wholeheartedly straight. Even though that relationship with Aradia hadn't lasted didn't mean there wasn't a girl out there for you.

And yet you were writing your phone number on some dudes coffee. Fuck. What the hell were you thinking you were wholeheartedly straight and you were pulling this shit? You really needed to get his act together or realize why you kept wanting to talk to the dude outside of your work place.

None the less Kanaya got his coffee done rather quickly considering there was no one before him and handed the hot beverage to you. With a second guess you crossed out your number haphazardly before calling his name.

"Eri-Ampora" you restated. you remembered the dudes name, but you didn't want him to think you were creepy. Why would he think that was creepy? He'd come in before and he had ordered coffee it wasn't unusual to remember someones name was it?

Either way he stood up and walked over exhausted. Grabbed his coffee and his cookie and muttered a small thank you before walking out the door. Your eyes followed him as he stopped and came to a halt, looking at his coffee cup. He looked over at you through the window and smirked slightly before you could avert your eyes. When you looked up again he was gone.

That was the second time Eridan Ampora had come into your coffee shop. The third time though uneventful happened the very next day. The only difference is that you didn't work Wednesdays or Thursdays so you didn't see him. But when you came in for your shift on Friday, Kanaya didn't give you two seconds before you were behind the counter that she wasn't jumping for joy and squealing at you.

"Woman calm down what happened? Did you finally realithe that the chick from your favorite hair thalon ith a lethibian or thomething?" You joke laughing at yourself. Her demeanor changed and she swatted you on the arm before giggling.

"No Sollux. If you _MUST_ know I was _excited_ for _you_." She exclaimed waggling her eyebrows at you.

"Me? Why? Did you finally figure out I was thraight and mentally dethide to quit trying to hook me up with your flaming friendth?" you sass back.

"_NO_ Now would you _shut_ up and _listen_ to me?" She exclaimed. You were about to protest but she didn't let you and cut you off before you could continue. "That cute Eridan guy showed up yesterday _and_ the day before that. _I_ think he wants to see _you_ again" She expressed trying to look as if she didn't care.

You roll your eyes at her and turn around taking your usual place at the counter. "I'm not gay. I don't like him. Tho it doesn't matter much to me._Maybe_ he jutht liketh coffee and ith now a regular?" You throw back a slightly blush coming to your cheeks as you avoid her eyes.

"Hmm..._maybe_ you're right. But regulars don't usually ask for 'cute baristas named Sollux'" She adds and with that she starts on someones coffee and plugs back in her headphones.

Well now you're definitely blushing and you're definitely in denial. There is no way he likes you and there is no way you like him. You think he's interesting you reassure yourself, and that's all there is to it. _Interesting_ is alright. You push back any other thoughts and focus on the task at hand. It's a busy day on Fridays and you don't have time to let your thoughts wander elsewhere.

After the breakfast rush you relax a bit and lean against the counter. Lunch would be dull and boring, and then night time would get busy again. Hearing the familiar ding of a customer entering you glance up and see none other than Eridan himself. Seeing you he breaks out into a small smile and walks up to the counter. He's shameless you decide.

"Hello." He drawls out.

"Hi what may I get you today?" You question swallowing your tongue.

He smirks at you as he obviously notices you're not as nonchalant as the face you're putting on would lead others to believe. "Yeah I'll have a Mocha, double shot, skim milk, extra hot, large… with your number not scratched out this time," He says smiling wider.

Hardening your jaw you don't question his name you just write it down in it's full and scribble your number underneath before handing it off to Kanaya who's practically breaking her mouth from smiling so wide.

You look up at him and swallow down your stupid grin, "I'm not gay." You say to him searching his eyes for acknowledgement.

"You don't hav-ve to be gay to giv-ive me your number" he says turning a shade of red at his own stutter and moving closer, "Plus who said I was gay to begin with?" He challenges licking his lips at you. Okay you may not be gay but anyone licking their lips at you is hot. It's like a proven fact. You can't lick your lips at someone and not be hot. He's just playing dirty at this point.

"I"ll call your name when your order ith ready." You say keeping your voice as monotone as possible. With a smirk he walks away and sits down at a spare table and gives you a wink before beginning to fiddle with his phone.

hey kk

**WHAT**

iif ii give my number two someone who happen2 two bee a dude becau2e ii fiind hiim iintere2tiing doe2 that make me gay?

**WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT**

doe2 iit make me gay

**NO BUT WHY ARE YOU ASKING**

You put your phone back in your pocket because you don't really want to answer him right now. A hot coffee is set next to you paired with Eridans name and your phone number. It's your last chance to cross it out. If you don't he'll have your number and you'll have actual conversations with the dude. Which is beyond your fucking comprehension right now. You look over at him to find that he's looking over at you. He's smiling and waiting for you to call his name. He's giving you the option to back out if you want to.

You really should cross it out. You should cross it out avoid eye contact and hope he never comes back.

"Eridan Ampora" You say looking at him. He smiled, happy you didn't cross it out you suppose.

He walks up and takes his coffee, his fingers brushing with yours, "I'll text you." He says before walking out. Okay now he's definitely shaking his hips and you pretty much groan inwardly. Embarrassed for him. Fuck this was really gay and really lame, but you feel yourself turning a deeper shade of red tracing your fingers over the parts of your hands where they had touched his. Okay you might be a little bit gay. But that doesn't stop you from just finding him interesting.

The end of your shift comes along with a heavy dose of disappointment. You had honestly expected him to text you right after he got out of the building like the school girl he pretty much acted like when you gave him your number. But instead you check your messages once more to remind you that in fact you had no unread messages. And when a message comes through it will in fact remind you with a simple vibration and that if you keep checking it, it's going to come to life and smack you in the face for acting so stupid to begin with. You roll your eyes at your inward monologue and snap your phone shut. Walking out you wave bye to Kanaya, and head to your apartment which is about two blocks away from The Coffee Shop.

Closing the door behind yourself you take off your coat and scarf and toss them on the spare chair you have in your living room other than the couch. Sitting down you sigh and look up at the ceiling. You begin to close your eyes when out of the corner of your eye you see your phone light up and begin to obnoxiously vibrate against the table. Groaning you stretch and pick it up letting the light flood your eyes.

_Told you I'd text you ~Eridan._

You really hoped this asshole didn't sign his name on everything he typed.

* * *

A/N: Notes before continuing that you basically should know/disclaimers:

This story goes back and forth through two perspectives

This story was originally a one shot so unfortunately there will be little to no foreshadowing in this story and I make it up as I go along so I'm not sure where it's going to go!

If you have any questions about the story, wish to make a writing request, or bug me about editing errors you can read the FAQ here or you can just message me directly here

Warnings will be made at the beginning of each chapter

Any homophobic, racial, sexist perspectives are values of characters only and show no actual personality, morals, ideas, or thoughts of the author.

Please for the love of God do not assume any X is the default when it comes to race in this story? Please imagine that they are as they are in the comic with blank skin and assume racial headcanons as such. The only time this does not apply is when there is a specified race (which usually only happens in sex scenes). But even then you may ignore it.

Homestuck does not belong to me

With that said I hope you enjoy!


	2. Minecraft

Waking up you stretch your arms above your head before collapsing them beside you. You didn't want to get out of bed yet. You don't want to move. You don't want to get up and go to that stupid coffee shop. Turning over you look at the wall beside you. Blank. Colorless. Well you shouldn't say colorless it's the same color as it was when you moved in. Yellow. You're not sure why it's yellow but, it's been yellow as long as you can remember.

"I'm not gay," you tell it. You look straight at it and furrow your eyebrows at it.

"I'm not gay"

You're not sure what you expected out of a wall, but it sure as hell isn't answering you. You burrow yourself underneath the covers again until your snooze alarm goes off. Fuck. You really didn't want to get up. You cover your head more hoping that the alarm would stop soon. You question slightly whether or not you can call in but decide against it. You can't just call in every day you have a low day. You'd be calling in every other fucking day.

You swing your feet over the edge of your bed and cup your face in your hands, "I'm not gay," you groan out.

You have no issue with the gay community and fuck some of your friends are gay but you've been attracted to women your entire life and, changing that...feeling different is not something you want to go through. You have enough emotional ups and downs without adding the confusion to your sexuality to it as well. The last time you questioned something like this you had so many panic attacks you almost lost your job from your sheer inability to get out of bed. Only that had been over whether or not you should actually going to college. Big decisions and bipolar disorder with anxiety on the side just do not mix. So if you had to keep telling yourself a lie on repeat to convince yourself and get the feelings to move on then you were going to fucking do it. Standing you stretch and pop your back before heading to the bathroom

In there you brush your teeth and groan at your hair. Opening the sink mirror you grab a maintenance medication you've long forgotten the name of. You pop the long white pill into your mouth and swallow it dry. Not the best decision on your part you quickly decide before scrambling for a drink of water as it is now lodged in your throat, you fucking idiot. Coughing and calming down you look into the mirror once more. Your eyes are sunk in from the restlessness of last night. Your hair is standing everywhere in the back but managing to stay completely fucking normal in the front, and if that wasn't enough you can see yourself breaking out on your chin. You're almost 23 what are you doing having breaks out

Muttering about your stupidity you quickly get dressed and head out the door. You can find people interesting and you can want to be their friend without wanting to jump on their dick can't you? You mentally cringe at the image of you actually jumping on Eridans dick. Oh defiantly not.

* * *

Opening the door you groan. Great looks like Kanaya took a shift off and now Vriskas working today. Which means you'll be doubling the apologies you do considering she never fixes anyones coffee right. On fucking purpose too. She doesn't give a shit when Kanaya works with her but when you show up she mysteriously forgets everything in her training just to make your life hard.

"Heeeeeeeey tholluth" she sneers mocking your lisp.

"Fuck off Vrithka," you glare as you walk past her.

Behind her you can hear her snickering. You can already tell today is going to be a long fucking day.

Looking up you hear the door ring and see the same small red head enter the shop as the day before. You don't bother smiling as you know she can't see you. Today she looks slightly different. Same red glasses only paired with a form fitting pair of red jeans and a black tank top and, what seems to be a lace blouse over it. She must be going somewhere important you decide.

"Hello how may I help you?" You ask trying to sound cheerful

"Can I have a black coffee with a warmed bagel?"

"thure (sure) that'll be… theven dollarth and fourty three thenth (cents)," You inform her punching it into the cash register.

"What was that? Sorry I guess my hearings a bit off today hehe" she says snickering. You know it's the lisp. You can't help it but it's always the lisp.

"I thai- said that'll be theven dollars and fourty three c-cents" You say fighting it. It's always hard to force your tongue into the frontal part of your mouth when you pronounce your lisp letters.

"One more time dear? I don't think I caught that." She says frown on her face.

You're about to fight your lisp again and possibly have a breakdown about your fucking inability to speak when you guess Vriskas had enough of you, and pushes you out of the way.

"What s-stuttering s-tumbling lithp boy thollux here is /trying/ to say is that'll be seven forty three" She mocks looking at you with a fake sympathetic face on her. Like she actually gives a shit.

You're about to push her away and accept the money and put her on coffee duty when you see Terezi pull a face of disgust.

"I would of gone to Starbucks if I knew you were working today Vriska." She sneers at her slapping the money on the counter.

"Oh so I suppose you're in the mood for sibling spit, for an extra dollar then hm?" Vriska spits back, "you know what? You're a regular, conssssssssider it on the house." She adds smiling at herself.

"Oh it wouldn't be a black coffee without the spit of someone whose heart is the same, bitch" Terezi throws back scrunching her face up in disgust.

You look at the two, completely out of your mind, and when it hits you that Vriskas not moving to make her coffee you realize you might be in the beginnings of a sibling cat fight if you don't fix something. Walking behind Vriska you grab a bagel and a cookie in the pastry cabinet and start the bagel in the toaster. You grab a large cup from next to Vriska and fill it to the brim with hot black coffee before putting a lid on it. You're moving too fast though and manage to spill some on the counter. Grabbing the bagel and the cookie you hip check Vriska out of the way and hand the order to Terezi.

"Thorry about that. Hereth one black coffee, a bagel, and a cookie on the house. Thorry about our rude customer athothiate (associate), and we hope to see you soon." You add. You had better fix it up because the last thing you needed was a complaint to your boss that might get you fired for not helping the blind chick.

"Thank you." She says and with that she walks out her order and an extra cookie in hand. You can't get Vriska in trouble, you can only pick up after her.

Turning around you look at her, "Do you want to get uth both fired?! I don't know about you but I need thith job so back the fuck up if you think you're going to get me fired, because I will fight you every fucking inth of the way." You shoot out, glaring at her.

She doesn't give you the decency to respond. Instead she rolls her eyes and begins to clean up the mess you made all over the coffee pot trying to hurry up Terezi's order. Today was going to definitely be a long day.

* * *

Staring at the clock behind the counter you sigh heavily. It had been slow all day. Vriska had pretty much left you alone , besides fucking with the orders which only made her redo them and have you suffer through your lisp twice as much. You guessed your message got through and her and her sister was a one time thing.

You look back up at the clock again and before you can sigh you force yourself to turn around. It was about 20 minutes until your shift ended and Eridan hadn't been in to see you once all day. Since you had given him your number about a week ago you'd only texted back and forth that one time but he'd been in every day since then. It was kind of weird and you weren't sure what it meant.

The few days he first hadn't texted you, you figured he was trying to give you space. But then the third and fourth day he didn't text you but showed up to The Coffee Shop, you thought something was fishy. You ended up asking Kanaya if he had really called you cute considering that was the tipping point of you actually becoming friends with him.

She then proceeded to tell you that he didn't call you cute, but she could see it in his eyes. Which caused you in turn to almost break through the wall with how hard you slammed your head into it. You felt dumb enough that you gave him your number and he never texted you but now he wasn't showing up to see you at work? You almost felt betrayed that he would go through all that effort to get your number and then just give up.

Frowning you pull our your phone for some investigative skills on your part.

not 2howiing up today?

_I'm running a bit late. Wwanna do something after wwork? ~Eridan_

Well that defiantly disproved the "He didn't like you" theory. Or maybe proved it more? Maybe he just didn't like using his phone.

2ure meet here? My 2hiift end2 iin 20

_On my wway ~Eridan_

You close your phone and cram it in your pocket. You wonder what he even does for a living. He comes in looking like a movie star from Hollywood practically every day so it must be something for a big company. You don't know of any Wal-Mart that pays you enough to get one item he has much less the entire outfit.

* * *

Hearing the door ring open you look up and see Eridan smiling at you. You're about to take off your apron and sign out when it registers that he might want a coffee.

"Want a coffee?" you offer reaching for a large cup and the sharpie.

"Sure I'll hav-ave a… double shot latte extra wh-whiip extra hot in a…large"

Rolling your eyes you write it down and begin making it yourself earning several snerks from Vriska. On about the 5th one you roll your eyes and acknowledge her.

"What Vrithka?" You question

"Meeeeeeee? Oh nothingggggggg I just think its cute how you're making a coffee for your boyfriend." She says snickering again.

In shock you practically drop the beginnings of it and manage to get half of it on your apron though you can feel it soaking through your shirt. So this is how she was going to play. You make one fucking remark about her behavior, and she starts making you out to be gay. You should of just met Eridan outside and gotten a coffee down the road.

"We are not boyfriends. I just don't want you to fuck it up like you do everyone elses. I'm trying to get off my shift." You say throwing the cup away and starting new. You can change when you get home.

"Whatever fag" She expresses flipping her hair over her shoulder.

You suppose you're fine for now but you're still a bit shaken up from already being accused of being gay just by being around Eridan. Maybe you shouldn't hang out after work if it's already drawing this type of negative attention. It'd be better if you two texted. You finish up his latté and turn around. You set it down and look up at him but pause. He looks...really hurt. You try to convince yourself that it's not the homophobic slur that was literally just thrown at you in front of your face but you know it is. You're not sure how to comfort him considering you've never really dealt with something like this before. On top of that you're not really the comforting type. Instead you nudge your head at Vriska and make the crazy sign with your free hand.

That seems to do it be cause he grins at you, pays you, and takes the latte out of your hands. You take off your apron and slip out the door. It's muggy outside and the clouds cover the sun. It's chilly cold and slightly wet. Pretty disgusting day to go hang out but whatever. You're about 5 steps away when you hear Vriska call from out the door.

"Later fags!" she yells at you.

You're about to keep walking and just ignore her till it registers that Eridan is not walking with you. You turn to find him walking back in the shop. Fuck. You call after him and run towards him just to have him speed up. Fuck you do not need this right now. You can get fired from her. Not because she's higher up, but because she knows the guy who runs the place. Kanaya got you hired but Vriska can get you fired.

You catch up to him just as he's about to run into the building.

"Eridan thop" you exclaim grabbing a hold of his arm.

"WH-what? WH-why are you going to just take that from her? She's a bitch." He growls down at you in confusion

"Yeah but theth (she's) altho my coworker and the (she) could of done worthe" you whisper looking at him. "Pluth it'd be a really dick move on your part to get me fired becausthe you got pithed at a thur" you add.

"Me? I'm not pissed. You say you're not gay so she has no right harassing you like that." He says concern laced into his voice. He places both hands on your shoulders as he says it.

You drop your head now avoiding eye contact. Why would he of done that. I mean yeah they chatted occasionally while he worked but that was really about it. There was no outside communication. But yet he felt the need to stick up for him in such a vibrant manor. Maybe he did like you after all. Not that it mattered, but still.

"Oh..." you murmur, "Well I don't want to get fired so come on where are we going?" you grumble out grabbing his arm and dragging him away from The Coffee Shop.

He breaks into a smile and goes along with you. He doesn't take his arm out of your grip but simply leads you with it. You're not sure why you didn't let go though.

"I thought you'd like to come over to my place for some videogames. Didn't you say you liked minecraft once or twice?" he explained.

Sure you loved playing minecraft but you were kinda weirded out going to his house. You weren't sure where he lived or if he was safe he was practically a stranger still. You figured you'd go and if anything sketchy happens you can always bail and refuse service or something.

"Uh yeah thore. Jutht let me get out of my work clotheth. They're covered in half mixed coffee." You finish looking down at yourself. You truly did look like a wreck.

Nodding you two head to your place.

* * *

Eridans apartment was huge. You weren't sure what he did you just knew you wanted to get involved as soon as possible. He owned a penthouse suit. OWNED IT. He bought it off the company owner and they couldn't throw him out no matter what happened. You weren't even sure if that was legal. But none the less he explained it a bit on the elevator ride up, but now you were in it, and you couldn't believe your eyes.

It was 10xs larger than your apartment by far and you secretly are happy that you didn't let him come inside considering it's barely got essentials much less decorated and half of it's a mess. But Eridan had curtains, leather couches, even fucking toilet cozies. Who buys toilet cozies? And what was he doing in a run down city like this. They were in Kansas City for gods' sake. He could be in New York if he wanted to but he decided to settle here. You are tempted to ask but in fear that it might be a family thing you decide otherwise.

You let him lead you into a room that looks pretty decked out to be honest. He's got a computer with multi screens on one side. A portrait of a weird dude in armor on another side along with a huge bookshelf. He goes over to the massive computer and fires up two different CPU's oh so you guess he's got two computers then. While he's setting everything up you find yourself walking over to the bookshelf and glancing over it.

**Air Pollution IV**  
**Earth Under Siege: Water Pollution**  
**The Chemistry of Pollution**  
**How to Save the Earth in Under 40 Days**  
**Stalin's Secret War**  
**Mein Kampf**  
**Hitler's Table Talk**  
**Histories Greatest Dictators**  
**Where Dictators Went Wrong IV**  
**Pollution and You**

You slowly back away from the book case. This dude had a bit of weird reading tastes, but you've seen weirder you guess. You turn around and see Eridan bent at the waist typing on one of the keyboards. You walk over and scoot between him and the chair you're attempting to sit in but manage to rub your crotch right over his ass in the process. He probably didn't notice you try to convince yourself. Even then you find yourself turning slightly redder after the fact.

"You ready?" you question while clicking on the familiar minecraft symbol.

With a nod he sits down next to you and begins to sign in.

* * *

"Did you theriouthly just come and theal my diamond...theriouthly?" You ask anger rising in your voice. You look over and find him snickering into his microphone.

Karkats on the other end along with one of his friends named Tavros. You all had been trying to create a full body diamond armor with diamond weapons and whoever finished first would win. But that fucking prick had nabbed you right before you finished your helmet.

"YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A FUCKING HELMET YOU FUCKING DICK" you scream in frustration lacing your hands through your hair. He looks over at you continuing to snicker.

"Hey you look kinda cute wh-when you're pissed maybe I should do it more often" He adds practically begging for you to punch him.

It's pretty much your snapping point considering you've never been able to fucking control your anger. You take off your headset and slam it against the table and lunge at him. You're going to rip him to shreds. You pull him out of his chair and he falls to the ground not expecting you to actually get violent with him. You throw him on the ground and he obviously thinks you're joking because the next thing you know you're being pulled down with him.

You scream as you fall on top of him with a thud and then proceed to try to fucking pin him. He probably works out, because he manages to pin you in less than 30 seconds. Fuck. You close your eyes and breathe in and out attempting to calm yourself down. You weren't usually violent at home. You just got pissed and quit playing. But he was right here. You couldn't just not do something.

"I hate you tho much" you breath before opening your eyes.

He's looking down at you with a bit more intensity than you'd realized. You look back into his eyes. They're the same shade of purple they've always been but they always seem to capture your attention. They have flicks of blue in them and you are now 100 percent sure they are not contacts and you really need to ask him what the fuck is up with his eyes one day. They dart around as you can only guess that he's looking at your face as well.

You feel him unpin you but you don't think you want to fight anymore. You let your hands relax at your sides and look at his face. He's got a small mole on his left ear and his nose has got a slight scar on the edge of it. His eyebrows are thick like caterpillars and you suddenly feel really gay making metaphors about some dudes eyebrows. But while you were being observant he must have thought there was the mood in the air because the next thing you know he gets on his elbows and his face gets a lot closer to yours. You feel very uncomfortable all of a sudden. You're not gay. You're not gay. You're not gay.

"Eridan I can't kith (kiss) you" you breath out in a desperate plea that he'll understand and get off.

He presses his forehead to yours and you suddenly want to kiss him now that you've told him no but you know you can't. His head is angled so your noses touch on their sides. You want to kiss him badly it would be so easy to just connect your lips and wrap your arms around him. But you're too busy mentally beating yourself up with every insult Vriska has ever called you 10x. He nods against your skin and breathes out. His breath smells like the peppermint gum he popped in half an hour ago and your jeans become tighter as he presses his ass against you to lean up. You want to push up against him and let yourself give in. You want to pull him back down and shove your tongue in his throat. But you're not gay. On top of that you're 60 percent convinced that by him thinking there was a mood, he then created a mood to match the one in his head. And his dumb made up mood messed with your head. Leaning back he presses harder against your crotch and you choke back a whimper as he gets up. Now you're sure he's doing it on fucking purpose. He walks back over to the computer and puts back on the headset.

"Yeah sorry guys Captor totally beat my ass for stealing his diamond like the fucking dick he is." He lies into the microphone looking at you smiling.

You rest your hands on your forehead and cover your eyes. What the fuck just happened.

* * *

A/N:

Okay so yeah side notes:

1. Vriska is a total bitch because i hate her with a burning passion and though I know she's a very very important character I needed an antagonist and so she gets to be the bitchy homophobe

2. Sollux is pretty much going to fight this the whole way guys strap in

3. I'm sorry i didn't make them kiss I really wanted too butttt..?!:LKDFJS

4. I'm like 65% sure some of those are actual book titles.

5. I hate reformating 3 different times for 3 seperate websites oh my fucking god.

6. ~~*Re-edited*~~


	3. Clubbing

Warnings: Alcohol use, Homophobic Slurs, Sexual content

* * *

Leaning your head back you look towards the TV. A pair of rhinos look back at you from their safarian plain. It was a lazy Wednesday afternoon. You didn't have work and you didn't have anyone trying to get into contact with you so that meant you could lay back and relax all you wanted. But at this point you weren't really relaxing. You were bored, you'd spent the better part of the evening in front of the TV watching questionable animal documentaries and eating stale potato chips. Usually you'd be up and online, coding, emailing, fucking anything but wanting to claw your eyes out in front of this damn television. You groan as it goes to commercial. You really had to get out of the house. You pick your hand up and reach for your phone on the edge of the coffee table. Your fingers barely touch it but succeed in making it fall more out of reach under the coffee table. You'd almost rather be working at this point. At least you would get to see Eridan and have his dumb fish puns lighten your day. On some level fish puns were really lame but Eridan used them like bad jokes to make you feel better about nasty customers.

It had been a week since he'd tried to kiss you and he had layed off and didn't seem to try to do it again. You and him still texted and talked at The Coffee Shop but he no longer tried to invite you over. You supposed he was waiting for you to ask but you weren't sure if you wanted to go back over considering what had happened last time.

Sitting up you lean down and grab your phone popping your back in the process.

hey kk

**WHAT**

whatre you doiing

**NOTHING WHY**

do you wanna hang out iim off work today

**YEAH SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT. WANT TO DO SOMETHING OR CAN I PICK**

you can piick anythiing2 better than 2iitiing iin front of a televiisiion for the next two day2

**OKAY PUT SOMETHING NICER THAN A T SHIRT AND FUCKING JEANS WERE GOING CLUBBING**

loud groaning what no why cant we go 2ee a moviie or 2omethiing

**BECAUSE WERE NOT GOING ON A DATE PISS FOR BRAINS PLUS YOU SAID I COULD PICK AND HERE IS ME PICKING RIGHT FUCKING NOW CLUB TIME GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER**

you don't even liike people why are we goiing two go two a club

**I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE I LIKE HAVING SEX WITH PEOPLE THOUGH AND CLUBS ARE GOOD PLACES TO FIND PEOPLE TO DO THAT**

oh gro22 do you 2eriiou2ly ju2t go two piick people up

**NOT ALWAYS IVE MET A FEW CHILL PEOPLE BUT IT DOESN"T MATTER GET READY I"LL PICK YOU UP AT 9**

fiine

Snapping your phone shut you lay back down. Fuck you really shouldn't of let him pick. You figured he'd pick a movie at his place or something. He was really into chick flicks and you figured that'd be more fun than this. You'd still be miserable because his taste in movies is awful but at least you'd be miserable with another person in the room. Most of the time when you watch chick flicks with him it ends up in you laughing at it and then Karkat getting pissed off at you for laughing at them. Then you two wrestle and you get on his computer. But you had no idea he even knew where a club was much less go to one. I mean you two weren't exactly close but you thought you knew him better than you did obviously.

Looking in your closet you were slightly panicking. Kar was going to be here in half an hour and you knew that if you didn't pick something out that was "suitable" for a club then you'd never hear the end of it. Fuck he might as well come in here and redress you if you didn't do good enough. He was always complaining that you looked like a borderline hobo when you hung out. He didn't really have much leverage considering he wore sweaters year round, but still he managed to get pissed off at every wardrobe decision you make. You weren't even sure what people wore to clubs much less if you owned anything worth mentioning.

Looking in your closet you pulled out a pair of black jeans and a mustard colored V neck. Sliding them on you look in the mirror. Frowning you slide off the shirt and toss it aside. You were skin and bones and you looked like a toothpick lathered in honey mustard in that shirt. You make a mental note to throw it out later or give it away or something.

Sliding off the shirt you slide on a black button up and look at yourself again. You look like you're flamboyantly gay you think frowning again. Maybe if you dressed it up a bit more though…Grabbing a red vest you pull it over yourself and look in the mirror. It'd be better if it were blue you decide and just pull your old mustard colored one out and slide it on. You open the first few buttons of your shirt and decide you should meet Kars' expectations of you. You slightly think about fucking with your hair but you don't really see the point. The cowlicks wont go down and messing with it would be as effective as trying to wish away the bags under your eyes. So instead you sit down and watch Rachel Ray teach you how to fix salmon until the doorbell rings.

* * *

Kar takes one look at you before he starts to ramble and carry on about your hair and outfit choice. You look like you're supposed to be going to a wedding not a club he grouches before shoving you back into the apartment and dragging you back to your closet. Fuck you thought you actually did a nice job. You didn't attempt to screw with your hair yeah but the outfit choice you thought was good. He takes off your shirt and your vest and starts digging around. You feel slightly exposed to just have your clothes ripped off of you. You shiver as the chill of your apartment reaches you. Pulling out a red button up he tells you to put it on but leave it untucked. You button it all the way up and look at him. He rolls his eyes before unbuttoning the first 4 buttons and the bottom two. He says to follow him to the bathroom as he digs out a tube of hair gel in his pocket.

"What the fuck kk. Did you come fucking prepared?" You question almost insulted that your best friend doesn't trust you enough to get ready for a simple club night.

"Yes I did because your hair always needs fixing nit wit." He grumbled at you rolling his eyes so hard you almost don't want to say anything else about it.

He fucks with your hair until it's 'stylishly messy' he calls it. It just looks like you didn't comb your hair this morning and you question why people would want to wear their hair like this in the first place. You don't think you have much room to judge though considering you'd wear minecraft shirts everyday of the week and stay inside until you ran out of food if you could.

* * *

Walking into the club you squint as your eyes are bombarded with unfamiliar lights and noises. There are lights spinning around throwing colors of blue and red your way and shining off of peoples outfits. The patrons are covered in glitter and sweat and rub up against one another. The shouts of people overlay the music. Voices scream just to chat to their friends and the bathrooms are overcrowded with people puking to people trying to fix their hair. Its your first time yeah but you weren't expecting this. Kar ended up taking you to one of the newer places that supposedly had been all the rave on the online boards. You pretty much threw daggers with your eyes when you realized he still had online privileges. It wasn't worth getting too upset about it. It was your fault after all. Looking around you see Kar wander off leaving you to fend yourself. You think about following him but considering he pretty much dragged you along to try to get himself laid you can only imagine it'll end up in some very awkward encounters.

Looking around you look up to see some tool with anime shades at the DJ with a crowd below them probably chanting his name. Along the normal fist pumpers there's a crowd of party goers who found each other attractive enough to grind upon. You pretty much decided you'd avoid the dance floor at all costs. On the sidelines you see some people also avoiding the dance floor but not yet going to the bar. They all pretty much look bitter so you don't think you'll go over their either. Spying the bar you find that it's stocked with several dozens of bottles that almost look glow in the dark with several liquids and boozes. That probably seems like your best bet. Even though your medication usually makes you not able to drink alcohol you didn't take it this morning. You didn't think you'd be going out so you didn't bother. But now some part wishes you had taken it while the other part of you wants to wander over to the bar and try shit out.

You end up giving in. Walking over you sit down in a white swivel barstool and find yourself slipping off. You're defiantly not used to having to balance to get a drink and quietly wonder what the fuck was wrong with traditional stools. Looking over you see the bartender happens to be a dude with messy hair and baggy clothes that could almost pass for pajama pants, but at least it looks like he knows what he's doing. He's grabbing bottles and pouring liquids without looking at labels or glasses. He seems skilled. He finishes serving up some other patrons and walks over to you.

"What miracles do you wanna be all up and drinking my brown haired motherfucker?" he questions through lidded eyes.

You're pretty sure he's high or drunk at this point but he defiantly not sober. You look at everyone else's drinks of colored shots and frilly drinks and you're not sure what you should get. You've never really drank much alcohol so you tell him to surprise you as your indecisiveness takes over. He comes back with a colorful shot and you throw it down. It tastes like mangos with a hint of honey and is probably the most delicious thing you've put in your mouth for a long time. You tell him to keep them coming as you start scoping out other patrons.

Two or three shots later you feel your head start buzzing and start feeling light headed. The music starts to sound a lot better with a few more shots after that. Pretty soon you're abandoning your chair with a twenty to pay for it all left on the counter ,and heading out to the dance floor. You smile and close your eyes letting the music swirl around you and breath in the scent of other people. Somehow the scent of sweat feels more appealing now that you know you're a part of it. You sway to the music letting your fingers brush against people just enjoying yourself. You feel a pair of hands on your waist grabbing you and swaying with you. Not grinding just moving with his chest pressed against your back. A pair of lips trace against your neck, and you find yourself drop your head back against a taller shoulder and open your neck wider for them.

They slowly lick the exposed flesh and you shiver into them. Their tongue leaves a wet spot to be chilled by the club air. On some level you know they're male and you know you shouldn't be engaging in this but they feel nice and so does the music so you figure you can allow it for a bit. You trace your hand up to tangle it in their hair and they moan in your ear before grabbing a hold of an earlobe with their teeth. It's not like you're going to have sex with them anyway.

"I didn't know-ow you w-went to the club Sol." A familiar voice whispers into your ear.

Your eyes shoot open and you suddenly feel uneasiness in your stomach. You should of guessed it was Eridan but you weren't sure what you expected when you felt what you thought was a stranger. Focusing in you can feel his rings through your shirt and the familiar bump of his nose into your neck. Forcing him to let go you turn around to look at him. He's dressed for the occasion you notice. Black jeans and a purple v neck that hugs him in all the right places. He's not as muscular as some dudes in the club but he's certainly not as out of shape as you are. He looks…hot. You're not sure if dancing with him would be a good idea considering last week. But it's just dancing. What could really happen? You decide not to answer him and instead just smile a bit before walking back up to him and letting him take a hold of your hips and slide your arms around his neck. He seems to get the hint because he quits talking and starts dancing with you.

One song fades into the next and before you know it you're pulling away from him to check the time to see it's almost midnight. You should head home but you want a few more of those shots before you leave. Grabbing his hand you pull him off the dance floor and over to the bar. You order two of the same shots and he informs you that they're "motherfuckin miracle honey shots" apparently they're his own concoction of boozes and liquors the other patrons at the bar inform you. You laugh at him and throw one down offering the other to Eridan. He smiles at you and throws it down. You watch him as the adams apple twitches as he swallows. He really is attractive or maybe it's the lighting. You're not really sure and you don't think you want to know either. He's smiling at you again his lips twitching up in a soft laugh. You feel your stomach flop at the sight of it all. He's saying something but you're not really paying attention. You're looking at his lips the same way you looked at them the first day in The Coffee Shop. The same lips that you told no a week before. He'd left you alone about it but now you're not so sure you wanted him to leave you alone about it.

Walking closer you pluck the shot glass out of his fingers and set it on the bar table and look up at him through lidded eyes. You lean forward and he seems to catch you from stumbling as you press your mouth to his. Not exactly graceful but it'll have to do. The bartender in the back laughs but you don't really notice. You're too busy trying to make sure you don't spit all over him. Your lips move sloppily together as his hands trace around your sides. You softly groan into him as your dick starts fighting with your zipper.

Pulling away you look at him through lidded eyes, "Eridan.." you start

He looks at you understandingly and bites his lower lip. You smile as he takes you to a secluded corner of the club. You weren't sure what the plan was or if there was a plan at all. All you knew was that you wanted to be closer to Eridan. You wanted to taste the booze on his lips and tongue. You wanted to have his hands in your hair and side and just have him closer to you. You'd blame it on the booze later right now you just wanted him.

Pulling him closer his hips connect with yours and you whimper into him. Seems he enjoyed being closer to you as well. You couldn't help but feel like a kid with your severe inexperience but you knew he wouldn't care. For as long as he's been trying to get into your pants anyway.

He comes closer to you and you push into him connecting your lips together once again. You press harshly into him and let your hands wander around his waist. One of his hands is on your cheek while the other one pulls you up higher with it on your ass. You moan into him and open up your mouth with his. Two tongues wrestle against one another as you taste the honey aftertaste on his tongue and feel him breath you in. He smells like cologne and club sweat but you don't really care anymore. You buck into him wanting friction and you feel him break the kiss. He rests his head on your shoulder and laughs softly before licking at your neck.

Your hands trace up and claw at his hair and back as he bites on your tasting you and exciting you in places you've never thought could respond to a man. He comes up and looks you in the eyes. His pupils are huge and hes got a small dribble of spit on his lower lip from sucking on your neck no doubt leaving marks. You hope they show up and you almost don't want to cover them for work tomorrow.

"Wa-want to get out of here" he breathes pressing your foreheads together.

You nod pressing into him and breathing into his ear. Leaning up you take his lobe in your mouth and bite softly happy that you can hear him whimper your name as you do so. Breaking it off you let him take you by the hand and lead you out of the club. His hands are soft and you're stumbling but you don't think you'd want it any other way.

* * *

Eridans apartment is just as big as it was last time and you have to stop yourself before you start staring at everything in awe again. You feel his hand lace with yours as he pulls you to his bedroom. He closes the door and ends up presses you into the wall closest to his bed. You hiss as your back comes into contact with a cold wall but you've soon forgotten it considering he's boxed you in. Purple eyes look at you needy and preditoral. It's obvious he's wanted this for a while. He presses up against you and you feel him through both of yours pants.

"Do you feel wh-what you do to me Sol," he asks almost whimpering.

Nodding you feel as he ruts against you and moans your name into your ear. You buck up against him and shiver from the friction. Resting your head on his shoulder you you're your teeth into his neck making him moan louder as the salty taste from the club floods your mouth. You don't mind it much. It's new but his hands weaving through your gelled hair keep edging you on so you bite harder and pull on his hair to give you more access to his neck. Anything to keep him making those noises

Pulling you away from the wall he mashes his lips against yours until the two of you fall onto the bed. He resituates until he's on top. And starts kissing you again. Maybe you're not gay but making out is fine you quickly decide. You feel him move down from your lips and start kissing at your neck again. You arch your back to hopefully get him to bite again but he's moving on. To your collar bone and quickly starts to unbutton your shirt. It starts to register to you that you might have sex with a man tonight. And as it clicks you feel yourself start to panic.

"Eridan thop." You slur batting his hands away from your shirt.

He looks up at you his brow furrowed. He crawls off and lays next to you. What just happened. You feel like you should reiterate that you're not gay or something. Are you interested in him? Or was that the alcohol talking. He really should of known better than to make out with you when you were drunk. You're actually starting to feel dirty. You still like him as a friend but now you feel like you've been taken advantage of. You feel a familiar burning in your chest and you know if you're not careful you'll end up snapping at him.

* * *

You hear a sigh from next to you as Eridan turns over and wraps his arms around you. "I'm sorry Sol" comes into your ear.

Why's he cuddling onto you? He knows you're not gay. You've said it enough. What does he think that you two are boyfriends now? That's not going to happen.

"What are youuu d-oing Eridan. I'm not gay get off of me." You yell a bit louder than you intended. You start pushing him off and get off the bed standing up as best you can but you feel yourself get a bit wobbly on your own two feet. And a little upset and shaken.

"Wh-what the fuck Sol-" he starts.

"My nameth not fucking thol itth tholluth you fucking idiot." You throw at him glaring daggars

"Okay Sol-lux," he restates emphasizing you mockingly, "wh-what the fuck it syour problem wi-with being gay?" he questions borderline slurring

Furrowing your brow you take a step towards him, "I'm juth-tht not gay okay? And even if I wath gay that doeth-doethn't mean I'd want to do it with some pother who jutht wantth in my panthhh you prick." You sneer at him feeling the anger boiling up. You should stop this. It's not his fault you try to convince yourself.

He looks insulted and gets up just to get in you face. You're pretty sure he's going to punch you and you'll kiss him or he'll kiss you and then you'll have to punch him. But instead he just cups your face in his hands and looks in your eyes.

"You think I just wa-want in your pants?" he questions getting closer. "Sol I lo-like you for a lot more than wh-whats in your pants." He finishes nudging noses with you.

You're not sure how you feel. You're heads swimming with confused emotions and you shouldn't of drank to much and you know it. He's too close and yet too far away you want to kiss him and you just hate him more for him making you feel this way. It's his fault for making you feel this way. You were so fucking content being straight and then he had to go and fuck it up. You're heads spinning with a mixture of hate and friendship and love so you just give up.

"Don't fucking touch me you fag." You slur out avoiding his eyes.

He lets go of you like your skin was made of fire, "wh-what?" he says. You can hear the hurt in his voice and it's starting to bring tears to your eyes for what you're doing, but at the same time you don't think you have another choice. It will just be easier this way.

"You fuckin heard me queer. I'm not gay I'll never be gay tho it'll jutht be eathier for everyone if you fucking let it go." You start. Your voice quickly becomes louder as you start getting more and more pissed off. How dare he touch you and kiss you when you say you're not gay. Plus you're hammered and off your meds and he takes advantage of you? What kind of monster is he?

"Get it through your thick twithted fucking fag ath of a brain that I will _never_ like you. What happened tonight was the mithtake of too many thhotth and not enough fucking common thenthe (sense). I would never thoberly engage in something so disguthting. Maybe you should rethink your priorities you fucking rapitht." You scream. Okay so he didn't rape you but what he pulled tonight wasn't exactly consensual so he better get it through his head that you didn't want what just happened.

"Rapist?!" he practically shouts, "If I fucking remember you were the one who pulled me to you. You wanted me and you're just too in denial to fucking think it's true." He screams pushing a finger into your chest.

"I'm fucking drunk did you expect me to be rational?" you scream back shoving him, "I would never want to be with someone like you no matter who I liked anyway. You're fucking disgusting" you spit at him. You walk out before he has a chance to answer you and slam the door. You're fucking done with him. You never want to see him again. Tears sting your eyes as you walk down the stairs into the cold air

* * *

Shivering you start walking down the road. It's cold and you don't have a coat to put over yourself. You know you really should go back there and apologize. You know it wasn't his fault and you might actually like him. You probably ruined whatever chance you could possibly have with him but you're too disgusted to go back there anyway. Plus with this outburst how would you even explain yourself. 'sorry I do that sometimes because I'm not mentally stable enough to have any actual friends or lovers for that matter' god how fucking pathetic.

* * *

You pull your phone out of your pocket and quickly punch in Karkats number. You know he won't give you too much shit as long as you don't tell him about Eridan. Or maybe you should? It wouldn't be the first time you'd been consoled in what to do about him.

"Hello? What the fuck do you want Sollux?" he questions obviously annoyed. You can hear a females voice in the background and you know you should just hang up and call a cab but you're cold and drunk with no more money.

"Kar I'm drunk and I don't have money and I'm 30 mileth away from home. Can you come pick me up?" you half slur half cry into the phone.

You hear some shouting and grumbling on his end but he tells you to stay put and text an address so he can come get you. Snapping the phone shut you lay your head down in between your knees and wait for your carried of shame to drive you home.

* * *

A/N: u can hate me because after this chapter (it was gonna be fluff) i hate me too omfg

I know it's a coffee shop au but i like clubstucks too so both yay! *fuckin throws confetti


	4. Confessions and Forgiveness

Warnings: ?  
A/N: This one I ended up rewriting and rewriting before I realized I was writing in the wrong persons perspective.  
Also: Thank you for the Fanart and Happy belated Birthday Anomia! This is her belated birthday present! Here's the fan art

* * *

Should you...should you try again? Even if he answered and started yelling..that would be better than, silence. It'd been a week, but it felt like yesterday. You can't ever figure out whats going through his head. He's always so...distant, torn off, unreadable. It drives you crazy but draws you too him just as much. But then shit like this happens and you should expect it. You should of prepared yourself. But You didn't...you never do not with him not with fefe-. Shh not now the dial tone is going. Looking down you press and hold down 2 waiting for speed dial to start up. His face flashes across your screen again a surprise shot when he turned around with your coffee. It was two Monday's ago...maybe you were going to fast, but none the less the phones ringing. Holding it up to your ear your palm starts sweating. Your stomach churns and you feel nauseous but that's far from the first time you've felt it today. You got attached to quickly judged too fast moved to fast and were to desperate. You always managed to let your emotions take over you somehow.

"Hey thith ith tholluth. I'm probably coding tho dont call back. I'll call you." He drawls into the phone.

This isn't the first time you've heard him say those words and you'd be stupid to think that was the last time either.

"Sol please pick up the phone I know-ow you're there," You murmur. Quit trying. If he wanted to talk to you he would but right now you think you're probably the last person he wants to talk to.

Dropping the subject and your phone you get up out of bed and pace to your bathroom. The chilled tile sends goosebumps up your spine as you stare at your reflection. You hadn't left the house since it happened. You'd wallowed in what little scent Sollux had left on your bed until it had disappeared, and then you just wallowed in the scent of your tears. Your hair was parted on the left and matted down to the side, with a few greasy strands lacing down over your forehead. You had begun to break out on your chin and right below your nose; The bags beneath your eyes were a sickly blackish purple and were puffed up. Since you hadn't managed to find the need to eat hardly anything you could start to feel the outline of your ribs and you knew you'd have to fix this soon otherwise you'd end up starving yourself over a stupid boy. Its not like you loved him or anything.

You were the aftermath of an emotional warfare that had taken over your brain. You needed to be angry, he'd called you every insult in the book, but you couldn't help tearing yourself apart because of the fact that you liked him so much... and that it might be your fault for the way he reacted. Or the way you looked, what you said, how much you drank. If you were honest with yourself everything felt like your fault most of the time. Thats originally how you ended up getting interested in dictators and military leaders. You studied them to be more emotionally balanced and in control, but as you soon found out their emotions got in their way too...which is how most of them ended up doubted you were dying. You might be dying. You were probably dying.

Turning on the sink you lean your head against the mirror, and place your hands below you. You let the water run over your hands chilling them a bit before deciding to run it up your arms. Cupping some you rub it into your face waking you up a bit and most likely wiping some grime off as well. Trudging back to your room you lay down on your stomach and close your eyes letting your fan run air onto you, and the hum of your computers calm you down. Like any good military leader, emotionally distraught or not, you needed a plan. A well organized plan. But as you knew plans don't always work out for people so it should be more like a back bone. A set of rules maybe?

Rolling over you look at the ceiling. People were so hard to predict and keep track of. You didn't exactly have a lot of friends but the ones you had were easy to read and fairly easy to predict. Feferi was the one who always did the right thing...or when you had known her... Vriska could always be counted on to do the bitchiest thing and try to justify it with it being the right thing.. and you... you weren't sure where you landed. You wanted to do what was right, and what was moral, but that was really hard most of the time. A normal person would ignore the fact that they got rejected, and be more focused on the fact that he got called a fag by the one person he hoped wouldn't care the most. Maybe switch coffee shops, and move on with their life, with maybe a more deep set hatred for the one who did that too you. Right. Lets be normal today. You feel like you should get coffee. Its a Thursday...he won't be there.

* * *

Walking into The Coffee Shop you slump against the closed door for a minute. You really can't take a week off from moving. You're weak as fuck at this point, or maybe that has something more to do with the lack of food you've not been eating. You take a minute to breathe in the air. Fresh brewed coffee greets your nose, along with the scent of fresh pastries. A few patrons look over at you, but quickly go back to doing what they were doing. You usually look nicer when you go out but today you have settled on a purple sweatshirt and black sweatpants. You probably should be embarrassed to be seen in public like this but your normal mind came here for a normal task of getting normal coffee. Its a mission not really a task at this point. Bouncing off the door you walk up to the counter. Kanaya smiles softly at you, she looks slightly worried but you know she probably won't question you too much. You came in with a sweatshirt and sweatpants on for crying out loud.

"One medium coffee, black." you mumble towards her. You hate black coffee but you're pretty sure that sugar and cream, and anything besides black would have you puking all over the floor. You reach for your wallet to discover you managed to leave it at home. Fuck.

"Kan wa-wait, I forgot my wallet." You look up and see that shes already coming towards you with a finished coffee.

"On the house." She says softly with a small smile, "You can pay for it by telling me why Sollux hasn't been to work since two Fridays ago." She adds concerned. Fuck.

You were really hoping you wouldn't have to talk about it, but since you don't have money, and he's obviously distressed you can't really hide it.

"We-we we-were at a club and we-we ended up-" Fuck you really couldn't explain this with your fucking stutter. Not to mention you really didn't want to go into details about what happened with him. Bad and good those memories were for you and Sollux only...unless he had already talked to someone about how disgusting he probably thought you were. You _really_ felt like you were going to throw up now. "...and stuff happened but in the end he managed to call me every homophobic name in the book and go home." You breathe out. You just need to calm down, you coach.

You hear her sharply breathe in, and you're waiting to here her start yelling at you. Pleading you to go check up on Sollux or accuse you of doing much worse than what had happened. You really don't want to check up on Sollux. But you look back up at her and she's busy taking off her apron and hanging it on a hook. She's...leaving?

"Kanaya? What're you-" you try to question her, but are quickly cut off.

"It's called a lunch break. Sollux is going to get fired if he doesn't show up for work on Friday. He's lucky i have been covering for him, but the boss will not be happy if hes missing for a week. So this needs to get fixed. Now." She sets a 'be back in 20 minutes' sign on the counter and walks out from behind it and grabs your hand. You feel yourself being dragged along, and grab your coffee as an after thought.

* * *

Sollux's apartment door looked too familiar, you feel you're heart drop as Kanaya knocks on the door. You had asked if you could just go home, and she could talk to him but she had insisted that you come along. Now you were here, and you _knew_ she was going to mediate between you two, as if you were children, if only for Sollux to keep his job and come back to work. It really wasn't her job. You were two male adults for crying out loud; and if Sollux wanted to throw his job away, well then that's his decision not hers. You two could figure it out on your own. Okay that one was a lie. All you were about to do is move on, stay bitter at him forever, and never go there when he was working. The Starbucks down the street was nasty and filled with assholes but it'll do if it meant you didn't have to face your issues. You snap your head up as the door begins to open. Your palms start getting sweaty, and your stomach ends up doing flips. You're not sure why you're nervous considering he was the one who was a dick to you, but none the less you find yourself staring off into the distance not able to force yourself to look at the door.

"You brought Kanaya with you?" Sollux scratches out. He's talking to you.

You turn your head to look at him...but immediately wish you hadn't. His eyes are puffy and red like he'd been crying, His cheeks looked hollow like he hadn't eaten since the few shots at the club and he overall looked washed out. At least you managed to keep some color to your face. Pale and sickly didn't look good on you. His hands draped down at his sides and his hair had finally managed to not stick up at the sides with all the grease weighing it down. He was a mess.

"I- She dragged me along." You sputter at him. The first time you'd talked to him in weeks and you can't manage one fucking sentence.

Even in a wreck you still wanted him. Still wanted to hold him, hug him, kiss him. The pain in your chest peaks and you almost want to double over in pain because you feel your heart start to crack in your chest, but you know you have to keep it together. It's dangerous to like someone this much. It had taken you months to actually walk in The Coffee Shop and not just steal glances of him through the window, and in less than one month you'd managed to fuck it up royally. You never were good with people though you suppose. Kanaya's hand hadn't let go of yours you realize as she drags you into his apartment tutting him out of the way. You brush by him with your chest trying to move out of the way and he scorches your skin. Your blood is rushed to your finger tips and the sensitivity in your body is peaked. You want him to keep touching you. Little brushes of hands, a knee bump, or maybe faces brushing over necks and ears...biting, and sucking on exposed skin.

Forcing yourself and your brain to change topic you start looking around the place. Sollux's apartment is...boring. He's got a small shabby couch against one wall and a small tv against another. He doesn't' seem to have a computer unless there's a laptop somewhere. Everything in the apartment is blank. The walls, the blankets, the atmosphere. It's like someone added a dull filter throughout the place. It feels cold and uninviting much less homely. Sollux walks over and sit s on the couch where you feel yourself being dragged to and plopped down next to him. His thigh is rubbed against yours and you lean towards him slightly. You don't want to make it obvious but you just want to feel his skin against yours again. He looks over at you, a sad expression crosses his face, and you realize how guilty he must feel. He obviously isn't mad at you he is just upset with himself, like you are upset with yourself. At least you think that's whats up. You open your mouth to say something. but you're not sure what to say anymore. You'd imagined yelling at him, being angry at him, or just crying at his feet. But now that the time had come to say something you weren't sure what to say anymore. You close it again and stare at the TV. You should be angry at him but all you want to do is kiss him and have makeup sex like a chick flick.

Kanaya is now bustling around in the kitchen, and you hear her call out, "Sollux when was the last time you've eaten? You don't have any food in your fridge or cupboard!"

You look over at him to see that he looks down at the ground almost ashamed of being taken care of before he mumbles that he hadn't eaten in over a week. No wonder he looks dead. You wonder if Kanaya even heard him, but she doesn't seem to ask again. If you want to talk shit over with him and have any chance of being friends with him again you're going to have to do it now or have Kanaya hear everything.

"I didn't tell her about wh-what happened just that you got upset. You don't have to wo-worry about her thinking you're gay is what I mean" you murmur towards him.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay." He responds, "I'm not gay though" he whispers back.

"You can like guys and not be gay." suggest looking up at him. "You can like me and not like guys." You add before you can stop yourself.

"I can't and won't like guys. I should not like you...so I won't." He adds looking back. He twists his face for a moment before looking down at his knees.

"Eridan I'm bipolar. I can't like guys. Decisions like this take way too long and they're too stressing to figure out. I'm happy straight. The last time I had to make a big decision like this I was very upset for a very long time. I had lots of panic attacks and I do not want to go through that again." he confesses. Your heart drops. _oh_

of course it couldn't just be simple. Of course it couldn't be normal homophobia. At least you knew how to deal with assholes, but this suddenly got very _personal_ very fast.

"I know its not an excuse for what I said but I was drunk and I freaked out. I don't want to hurt you, and if I did I'm sorry." he finishes and looks back up at you.

"It's alright." you push out.

It's not alright. Its the opposite of alright you want to feel mad, and angry at him for doing this to you. He lead you on, crushed your heart, and you can feel it in your chest shattering. You didn't love him but you sure as hell trusted him, and you don't know which would be worst. At least if you loved him you could blame your heart for being stupid, but you trusted him and might of loved him some day and you know right now all you're loosing is what could of been. But at least if it would of happened you would of had memories instead all you have in your head is the remembrance of a hard dick and the lingering smell of club sweat and honey he left on your pillow. You want to hate him but he's looking at you like a lost puppy, and you know you're going to crumble and go right back for him. The realization that he might kill you is crushing.

Kanaya comes back in with three cups of tea. One seems to be in a to-go cup, and you silently hope she's kicking you out.

"Have you worked it out?" she questions.

You look over at him and give him a small smile. You don't know where you stand but at least he's talking to you again.

"Yeah I think we're good." you tell her not taking your eyes off him.

You hear her smile and she says something about a lunch break being over and you hear her leave.

"You need to get some food in you. Wanna come over? I actually have food in my fridge." you laugh.

He smiles at you and asks if he can take a shower there. Nodding you both head to your place.

* * *

A/N: Haha these might be long

I apologize for not updating but many things have been hectic at my house along with some very bad things happening to myself so there has been not a lot of time to focus on sad characters. (I also had a Teen Titans marathon but we will ignore that :3 :3)

I feel like I should add this as a disclaimer of sorts. Even though it is canon that Sollux has bipolar disorder I am not trying to romanticize the disorder its self. If anything I am trying to use the struggles I have found myself overcoming when facing new obstacles and also having bipolar disorder. Disregarding it would not fully register Sollux's character in my mind. All though other people may experience the disorder differently I am using myself to best describe it in Sollux.

Sorry this one was so short dudes! I will make the next one longer but I thought this one def deserved its own chapter! Yay they're making up!

Chapters 1&2 have been re-edited! Thank you to the lovely anon who pointed out my atrocious lack of commas(On AO3). And as always requests are open (on tumblr) and I will be taking a break of from this story for 2-3 weeks to work on and edit those along with revamping a few of my other oneshots. To see when I'll update I have a writing to-do list on my FAQ (on tumblr).


	5. Giving Up

Some people are better at hiding themselves than you are. A lot of people are able to push their emotions aside and work on progressing with life. They're good at ignoring them; biting their tongue til it bleeds if it's needed. You are not one of those people. Your emotions are like a sink with the drain plugged. Sure you can ignore the fact that sink is full, but if you don't acknowledge it soon it is going to start overflowing and getting all over the clean counters and kitchen appliances. Then you're going to have to call the plumber in, because now the sink is clogged up and the drain is stuck. You didn't want to have to call Kanaya or see Kanaya do that again. It was pretty humiliating the first time, but Sollux kept ignoring the hypothetical elephant in the room and had gone back to his insecure, slightly bitchy, and sassy self within a week. You tried to catch up, and had tried to bring shit up more than once. That ended you with a slight glare a scratch of his own neck and a nervous stuttering topic change. He wasn't going to allow you to bring it up...he wasn't going to bring it up. Your sink was about to overflow.

Which brought you to where you are now. Your finger hovered over the call button on your phone. Vriskas contact info was blaring up at you, and you were still slightly nervous. You and her had been 'friends' for years. Well if you could call it that. When you were teenagers you had gone to the same shitty high school and walked the same shitty halls together. It was just a coincidence that you two had ended up friends. It started over a weird partnership forged together in Drama class over insulting the same kid in a wheel chair who kept insisting to be put in a play. The kid couldn't walk. How was he supposed to play the part of Peter Pan if he couldn't lift his legs to get on the window sill and fly Wendy across the stage. He kept blabbering on about how they could use the maneuver gear to make people fly to help him walk. He couldn't even move his legs to make it _look_ like he could walk though. You could practically hear the kids start crying now to their mothers about how neverland was not a place they wanted to go if the person taking them couldn't walk much less fly. The stage director had let him work on the lights as a pity inclusion knowing full and well that if he didn't give him something to do the principal would be up his ass deeper than the stick already up it.

After practically teasing the kid to tears and being told to fuck off by the school stoner Vriska had laughed with you and given you her handle. Later that night you'd messaged her on Pesterchum and you two started quite the odd friendship. You were never fully sure what your emotions towards her was at the time. You hated her, but you couldn't help but think about her when you were jerking one out in the bedroom. She teased you about your purple eyes, and you made fun of the fact that at least you have two functioning eyes. She'd frown and punch you so hard in the arm it'd leave 'playful' bruises up and down it. She wasn't very likeable, but you kept finding yourself drawn to her. A few months into your 'friendship' Vriska had invited you to a "RPG" with her as she put it. Apparently things had gone sour in her last gaming group and refused to tell you much about it. All you really know is it involved a distant player from a few states away named 'Aradia' or something, the cripple, a blind girl, and herself. It was actually quite the pathetic group of losers now that you had thought about it but you wanted to feel included so you said yes. Your best friend Feferi never fully approved of Vriska, but to be honest you're not sure _anyone_ could fully approve of Vriska..except Vriska.

So began your friendship. Your high school days were quickly pulled away from "loner-who-thinks-hes-better-than-everyone" and turned into "loner-who-takes-pity-on-the-disabled-chick." Of course you weren't _actually_ alone. You used to have Fef, and still had Kanaya, and Karkat. No one really cared though the label stuck anyway. Vriska through her several antics had eventually it seemed to of developed a crush on you. She managed to tell you the night before homecoming ,and thrown you completely off your game. She'd killed your character (again) that night after you stopped playing in shock. For the first night in a while someone had a crush on you. You didn't really think you'd be doing a lot of dating in high school after Fef had rejected your advances, and insist you two stay friends. Though after that best friend status was kinda revoked from you as she started drifting towards other people at school. You took the fish ring she gave you off for the shower one day and never put it back on. You quit using fish puns for a while. But now you had someone who returned your feelings. Well slightly. You weren't sure if you actually /liked/ Vriska or if it was more of a withstanding of her. She was cute but you just weren't that into her. You said yes anyway. You went to homecoming with her and kissed her on her doorstep. That wasn't enough for her because she dragged you inside and fucked you till her mattress turned into memory foam and your ass had made a permanent imprint. You couldn't stand her but yet you couldn't stop being around her at the same time. It was a weird relationship.

You were sane for the most part. School was easier after your relationship with her; you never ranted with her and she never wanted to hear it. Instead when you were mad you'd ask if she wanted to come over, she always did, she'd stay over for a while. You'd watch movies that took a half an hour to decide because apparently 'you couldn't appreciate a good movie if it's not about war, or slaughter.' She was right but it didn't stop you two from bickering if anything it made it worse. It never really mattered because you never actually finished a single movie you two sat down two.

You started going downhill in your Junior year. You weren't sure what sparked it but after two years of being with Vriska; you couldn't stand to be around her. You couldn't normally stand to be around her, but this was different. The relationship was the same but you were different. You liked Karkat. He was always there for you and helped you out in times of need. And at first you were positive it was just the desire to be close to him and be closer friends but as the weeks had gone by you started to notice you actually couldn't stand to not be around him. You thought you were gay and you had decided to come out to Vriska first. It wasn't fair that she still like you after the years you'd been together. But life had never really been fair to you so she was going to have to feel unfairness eventually. Youhad called her up and told her over the phone...not the smartest decision. She didn't really respond the way you had wanted her to, and instead of yelling and screaming she'd hung up on you. You had tried to get on Pesterchum and bug her but only got a pop up window saying she'd blocked you and the same result on your mutual RPG game League of Legends. Your relationship had come to an end. You had never really pulled yourself together long enough to make a sane decision about how to come out with her and as a result you'd lost one of your closest friends. You hated her so much but this was too devastating for that to get in the way. You felt more alone than ever. Fef had pulled away from you, Vriska couldn't stand you considering you'd probably broken her heart, and now Kar and Kanaya were the only people you had left. Even if Kanaya was too distracted from fashion club to actually be your friend anymore.

Sobbing you had called Karkat and explained everything. He'd came out as bisexual to you a few years ago and you knew he would understand. He answered you cursing as usual, but once he heard what was up he had headed over. The night had ended with you sobbing into his shoulder and watching really bad chick flicks because 'You need to stop watching bad war movies. You're not always at war with the world.' You had fallen asleep on him.

You never really fully told him how you felt and only managed to drunkenly attempt to make out with him (which had actually succeeded a few times) at a few different parties. For not going out much Karkat sure as hell acted like a party animal when he _was_ out. He'd asked you about it further a few times, but you never really gave him a straight answer. You were tired of losing friends. So instead...life moved on. Fef and you grew apart, Karkat had gone to college where he apparently met Sollux and you two had grown apart. Vriska had ignored you since then. and the one time in The Coffee Shop was the first time you'd seen her in years. But she had just managed to piss you off. She apparently had not forgiven you much for all those years ago. Kanaya the last you heard had headed to college but were corrected again when you saw her working at The Coffee Shop. Everyone you knew it seemed had stayed close to home. The city was close to your old high school even if _was_ about an hour away It was the closet thing you could call 'exciting.

You figure everyone had just moved on with life. Tavros had forgiven you for being a dick to him all those years at high school and you actually bonded over minecraft. People were growing up, and as much as you hated to admit it. You were growing up. You had graduated high school you were in your 5th year of college and had moved on past Vriska. You'd dated guys you lived in the city. If you dared to say it you were actually an adult. And adults know how to handle their problems. But then why did you still feel like you were 17 and sitting in your dads basement with Karkat on the phone? The more you think about it even though you've moved on, and other people had moved on...you don't really think anyone ever really 'grows up' and the 'adult' vision was just that. A vision. But moving on...actually moving on, meant not calling Vriska. Which is cool you can do that. But since you're not even close to growing up you call Karkat instead.

"Jesus H CHRIST its three in the god damn morning who are you and what do you want?" he groans into the phone. He's awake

"Aw-wh Kar don't be like that you know-ow you we-were up anyw-way attempting to program." A smile pulls at your lips. Things never felt anything less than natural between you two.

"I am not _attempting_ to program you shit for brains. I _am_ programming and I'll be _damned_ if I am not the _best_ programmer you have ever met in your god damn life. You better kiss the ground I walk on like you're poisoned and the soles of my god damn shoes are the fucking antidote." he half snarls into the phone. He's frustrated and you take pity on him.

"Yeah we-well how about you take a break from attempting to break your computer and let me pick you up and take you out." You mention feeling better about your situation.

"Ampora did you just ask me out on a date?" He asked shock laced into his voice but mostly still irritated.

"W-what NO. Karkat I'm just bored in my house and I wa-wanted to hang out. Jeez I mean I know-ow I'm cute but you don't hav-ve to go and pretend I asked you out just to bring the topic up." you over-exaggerate laughing into the phone to make a point. No you definitely weren't asking him out on a date. Not getting into his pants was a whole other damn story.

"Can you not make every conve-versation w-we have-ve reminders of you shov-oving your drunk tongue down my throat at one of the many parties we-we we-went to." you add a smirk tracing into your voice.

"Well I did not exactly hear you complaining fuck nuts. In fact if I didn't know any better I'd assume that you wanted in my pants." he ends quickly cutting himself off. You can hear him blushing

"Wh-what makes you think I still don't?" You pose heart fluttering in your chest. You get a ephemeral dose of worriment. You know if he laughs it off then at least you can play it off but on the other end you hear him suck in a breath. Things have gone from light hearted to tense and you're waiting for him to reply.

"Whatever Ampora," he breathes out the familiar sound of him flushing, "I don't feel like going out either way." he finished with a huff.

"Then come ov-over. Or let me come ov-over." you add hoping you don't sound too pathetic and too desperate.

You just need to get out of your own head, and you can't go to the person who's crawled under your skin about it because obviously he's not willing to let it happen not willing to mull shit over to make himself happy. He didn't have anyone last time, but now he had you. You still didn't understand even after countless of web pages trying to explain the disorder. It just seemed too simple in your head and you couldn't stop taking it personally. You hear Karkat clicking his tongue on the other end of the line. You're not sure why you're so worried he'll say no when he always says yes when you need him.

"Okay fine whatever. Just don't make the whole night about Sollux. I still talk to him on a semi-daily basis and I don't need your emotions clogging up my friendship." he gripes before hanging up.

That's fine you won't breath a word about him the whole point is to get your mind off of him. And wiping clean the memories where his hands had been wouldn't be too bad either. You slip on a black shirt with 'save the planet' written across it that's been styled to look like it was spray painted on, and a pair of black tight jeans. Karkat always hates when you dress too elaborate around him. You were just going over to see him so you figured it really didn't matter. Grabbing your wallet you start to walk out of the house, but trace back in and grab a to-go bottle of lube and a condom and tuck them both into your wallet and pants.

Hopping into your car you start mulling over your decisions of the night. You're glad Karkat lives close and even happier he decided to stay after he graduated from college. You two went to different Universities and living in the city was practically out of his way convenience wise, but he stayed close anyway. He said its because he liked living in the city but you knew it probably had something to do with the fact that you and him haven't been separated since middle school. You were far from best friends but being too far away made the both of you uncomfortable. Sometimes being too close made you both uncomfortable. But right now all you could think about is how you weren't close enough to him. To feel his skin against yours to feel it ignite the fire left to burn all those years ago. There was no way it could of survived all the rainy days you'd gone through, but the ashes were still warm enough for you to want him close tonight.

Your heart couldn't stop pulling itself out of your chest emotions overwhelming you with neediness. You glance down at yourself only slightly surprised everything is still in tact because it feels like your heart is shredding through your skin in order to be close to someone. Your brain is screaming to call Sollux and beg him to mull it over but you're body is not fighting tonight. You'd spent months fighting to get in there and liked him more than he could know but he was stomping on the fire frantically while you were out to get firewood.

* * *

Knocking on his door is a familiar feeling. Cars buzz past as the chill crawls through your skin. You should of brought a jacket. Your cheeks grow warm as you hear him unlock the door. You don't think you'll be able to hold yourself together long enough to actually ask if he's in the mood for a booty call. You're cold and needy and you don't need him but you want him more than anything in the world right now, because what you desperately need is not willing to come close to you. He opens the door with a frown on his face. He's in red boxers and a doesn't have a shirt on. He's only a few inches shorter than you, his nose is narrow, and he's considered lanky. Bright platinum blonde hair sticks out from every angle with two inches of dark black roots showing, he didn't bother to style it today. He looks up at you freckles stand out against his skin. He's pale for his standards and probably hasn't gotten out much or at least out much in the daylight. He's looking up at you with angry brown eyes. You like his hair better black but every time you bring it up he shoots you a glare and says something about "party fashion" that you never care to pick up on. But right now he's the image of perfection.

He furrows his brow as you study him and yells at you to get inside. You walk inside chewing on your lower lip. He turns around to lock the door, and you walk closer than comfortable behind him. He starts griping about something as he turns around, but before he can finish you shut him up. He's lank against you and makes no move to attempt to return the kiss. It feels like an eternity that he takes to weigh things over, arms relaxed at his sides eyes still probably open. But instead of pushing you away he relaxes into the door and starts to kiss you back. Arms lace around your hips leaving faded traces in their wake and he hums into you. You only pull away to look into his eyes to see what the fuck he's thinking. The hum basically let you know but the accusations of being called a rapist are still very clear in your mind as you feel yourself press against him.

"Just like high school." he laughs. You miss seeing the smile crack on his face.

"Except I'm sober this time," you breath nudging noses with him.

He's silent and you can feel him searching your face for answers. His eyebrows are furrowed and he probably knows what its about but he has yet to break the silence.

"Do I have to ask?" he susurrated

"Does there have to be a reason?" You murmured back, "can't I just _want_ you for one night?" your hands abandon the door and slide down his shoulders open palmed. You twist them around so your picking his lower back up off the door and pressing it into you. "I just, don't want to think about him tonight." you whisper into his lips before pulling him into another kiss

He seems to be pacified for now, but you know you won't be able to avoid the questions afterward. Karkat has never really been one to push people away when they're affectionate. It seems cliche in your head but he really does have a soft center. You slide your hands around his waist and grope his ass as he deepens the kiss with you. A mumbled noise of surprise is buried under scrapings against the door with your rings. You pick him up feeling a slight burn in your upper arms. You don't work out but he's light enough to handle. His arms quickly abandon your hips and instead wrap around your neck as his legs wrap around your waist. His lips are flushed against yours and you feel him lace fingers into your unstyled hair. A tongue traces your lower lip and you happily open your mouth for him as you start pulling him away from the door. You're not used to his apartment, and its safe to say you're happily distracted as his tongue wrestles against your own, so more than once he finds himself hitting a door frame instead of actually getting in the room. Its not romantic or smooth or like the movies. But you don't think he expects it to be like in the movies.

You get him into the bedroom and try to lay him down on the bed. Your arms give out before hes all the way down and it breaks the kiss as he plops down onto the bed. You don't follow him but instead start pulling your shirt and pants off. Its ungraceful and you get your shoes and socks caught in taking your pants off, but eventually you're as naked as he is and shamelessly sporting your own tent. Hes flushing and his lips are swollen slightly. You're out of breath from carrying him but at this point your only concern is where the lube and condom is. You reach down and dig through your pants before finding both. You toss them on the bedsheets and crawl up on top of him; you don't want to waste time on foreplay, but know that if you're going to get anywhere you're going to have to. Your eyes are already half lidded and you're biting your lip as you steady yourself over him.

Karkat doesn't feel like Sollux, which is good, even though they're both lanky Karkat's bones are more prominent. His skin is the color of cherry wood so it makes it harder to see the flush and you have to pay attention to every detail of it. His hands are bigger and his skin is softer. He breaths heavily, but never lets anything other than that hardly leave his mouth. Its almost a shock how quiet he is in bed compared to how loud he is in real life. His lips are thicker than yours, and he devours your lower lip in them as he nibbles on it. Your back is yelling at you for being at this angle and your knees are sore from all your body weight being put on them but you ignore them as Karkats eyes flutter shut. Your hand is in between the both of you palming at him through his boxers. As he's aged his jaw line has gotten sharper and his acne has faded away leaving behind hardly any scars. His moves his head to the side shy or squirming and you take the opportunity to reach down and bite on his neck lightly soliciting the first actual moan from him.

You move your hand up and trace them over small curly hairs as you slide your hand into the waistband of his boxers. Your wrist forces his boxers down as you grab a hold of the bottom of his shaft pumping quickly and twisting towards the top. Its a strange angle but the strangled cry he rewards you with is worth it. You detatch yourself from his neck and move up to his ear nibbling on it softly. He pulls it away from you and looks up at you his eyes struggling to stay focused. You wonder if you're doing something wrong, but he pulls you harsher into another kiss yanking on your hair. You moan into him as your teeth clack together and your lips are being bruised. You don't complain when he pulls away again only to bring your lower lip into his mouth and mistakenly bite on it to hard when your grip tightens around his dick. You feel iron coat the tip of your tongue and realize he drew blood. He must of tasted it too because he's looking at you worried. You only smirk down at him and speed your pace up.

You get a whine from him when you pull your hand away from inside his boxers, but he gives up pouting once you start pulling the rest of his boxers off and start tugging at your own. You're smaller than him and you flush as the two of them are close and you can compare sizes. He's not looking down and you don't really have a reason to be self conscious of it so instead you focus on taking off your rings fighting a few and set them on his bedside table. You lather lube on the first three fingers and attempt to warm it up slightly by wiggling the sticky fluid through your fingers. Hes bending his neck to look up at you causing himself to have a double chin so you lean forward making his hips lift up off the bed and his knees cling onto your shoulders for support. He's breathing shallowly and most likely fighting the urge to look again. Your finger traces around the tight ring of muscles and his breath hitches underneath you. You gently press the first digit in him and bite yourlip thinking about how that's going to feel around your cock. he hisses which causes you to stop. You're finger is halfway into him and you occupy yourself by kissing on his thighs leaving small bites and hickie marks for his roommate to discover when he walks around in his boxers next.

You work your way into him after he calms down and his groan goes straight to your dick as you start moving your finger in and out of him. He's used to it though most likely from consistently going out to clubs, and it doesn't take him long before he's looking up at you pressing his hips in to meet your finger wanting more. You happily oblige with a second finger, and work on finding his prostate. Hes whimpering underneath you his hands clawing at the sheets. His eyes are closed and eyebrows are furrowed in desperate concentration not to make a sound. His knuckles pale under the pressure he's putting on them. Another twist of your fingers and he writhes underneath you; only calming down enough to arch his back he looks up at you biting his lower lip. He continues to flail letting out small whines and groans occasionally a small film of sweat managing to build up on his forehead. You continue to stretch him pressing harshly against his prostate until he's letting a slew of curses escape his lips. You just need him for the night and you're not sure if you're going to _need_ him again. You go back to littering small kisses against his skin attempting to ignore your own need below you. He's pressing against you again and you start to push in a third finger but he's groaning and tightening around your fingers.

"Jesus Christ Eridan just fucking get in me already." he breaths out breaking the silence in the room.

A smirk passes your lips as you pull out of him soliciting a whine, but work on tearing the condom open with your clean hand and teeth ignoring him. Sliding it on you slather lube up and down yourself before grabbing a kleenex on his bed stand and wiping your fingers clean. You discard it on the counter next to the condom wrapper; you can worry about getting rid of it later. You ready yourself over him and he breathes out preparing himself. You twitch and look up at him waiting for him to tell you he's ready. You press the head of yourself into him when he nods sucking on his lower lip. You let out a moan as you slide in him just the little amount you had. It breaks the soft sighs and barely there moans Karkat had been letting out so you bury your head in his leg attempting to muffle yourself. Your hands dig into his hip bones and hisses as your nails dig in. You allow him to adjust and don't push in anymore till he's squirming underneath you and even then it's hardly anything.

"I swear to god if you do not fucking get your dick in me I'm going to leave you and go jerk off in the bathroom. I am not a fucking porcelain doll." he states louder than the whispers you'd been sharing.

You look down at him and he's needily pressing his hips into you. A smirk makes it way past your lips as you press harshly into him; its slow but his eyes roll back into his head none the less. He hisses but you don't let up till you're all the way in him. He groans and squeezes his legs around you as you practically double over him. He's so tight and you haven't done this since the month before you met Sollux. but he's urging you to continue so you buck your hips into him biting your lower

lip letting yourself get lost into him.

He's panting and cursing underneath you and is starting to sound more and more like Karkat than the timid bullshit he pulled earlier. You're erratic and not on a rhythm at all even though you try to keep one. You graze his prostate a few times and settle on an angle that presses yourself into it with every thrust. You grip his dick letting go of one of his legs and pump it off time with your thrusts. Your eyes are fluttering shut and you bite your lip. You know you won't last long even if there wasn't much foreplay. You were never a good topper. Thankfully Karkat is arching his back at the added stimuli and is gasping your name.

"I'm not going to be able to last a lot longer." he groans.

You're thankful that at least there was enough foreplay for him to get worked up and only increase the speed of your thrusts.

"That's the point." You groan your head resting against one of his knee.

You feel the familiar sensation pool in your stomach and you drive into him even harder rocking himself and the bed. The bed smacks the wall a few times and you're pouring yourself into the condom as you grind your teeth. Your fingers claw at his hips and your knees go stiff as you ride out your orgasm. He begs you not to slow down and you wouldn't dare dare as he spills over onto his stomach the white contrasting against his skin. He sighs as you pull out of him and grab a hold of the bed to balance yourself so you can get a steady hold of your knees to keep them from buckling under you.

You toss him a few tissues and he works on cleaning himself up as you dispose of the condom wrapper and the the condom in the trash you pick your boxers from the floor and toss him his and then continue on working your rings around your fingers again. It's a peaceful silence as you put back on your shirt and then your pants. You should probably spend the night. You shouldn't just make him feel like a piece of ass or a sex toy you use when you're mad at Sollux. You put your pants on anyway.

"You're leaving?" his voice is hesitant. He doesn't want you to leave.

You falter buttoning your pants. You're not sure if you should go home knowing the only thing there for you is an empty bed.

"I have class in the morning." you add clearing your throat not willing to turn around.

"Right..right" he mumbles disappointment obviously laced in his voice.

You turn around and your face drops at the sight. He's turned away towards his wall in the tiny apartment he lives at. Its not that he's used to people leaving but you are closer to him than most people in any club he ever goes to. Sighing you take

your pants off and crawl into bed cuddling up next to him.

"I'll need to set an alarm earlier so I can run home before class." you murmur into him nibbling on his ear.

He turns around and kisses you again pulling himself closer to you. you're not really sure how smart of an idea it was to do this but you type in the alarm on his phone anyway and lay it back down on the bed before burying your head in a mop of blond hair and drift off.

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AN: I think I'm going to end up adding disclaimers and beginning notes to this fic because of a few errors so make sure you check that out because I edited it before posting this chapter :)


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